~A Voice ~

Last night as I was safe and warm in my bed.....I heard a voice. A voice I heard as a child long ago. A voice calling from far , far away. "Karen" the voice called....more then once ... It was the voice of my father...which I haven't heard in over 14 years now. And... It hit me in that moment ...How I truly miss my father. A strong and chilled man...very difficult  to get close to . Before you begin to think he has passed away.....he has not. He has chosen to not talk with me for what ever reason he holds. A rather sad thing really. To have a daughter and not speak with her is at times hard for me to comprehend and at times...very hard to bare . I miss the wisdom he could share with me....I am sadden he has missed so much of his grandchildren and Great grand children's  lives.  He is not the only one who has taken this course of action where I am concerned.....there are other family members as well. Again... a rather sad thing. You see...I have many children and all who would love to know my side of the family...They would live forever in their hearts. But they do not. I have over the years talked of these family ghosts from my past ...Shown my children faded  photographs , a time caught forever  in a still frame....and to be honest....they no longer seem to be real people to me any longer . It feels as though the  stories I  have recited  to my children and grandchildren  are..but lies... or even perhaps make believe stories of a time that maybe didn't truly happen .....Perhaps??? I have begun to wonder that fact.With no rime nor reason... For Years I have tried to reach out to this fantasy family of long ago......and I have grown tired of trying.....just too tired to try nor care anymore.
I have been asked, what will I make of the New Year??? After much pondering ......and with great care..I came to the conclusion of just what I will do.... I will move on ......  

I have people {My Friends} in my life that may not be blood family....But , They all have stepped up with honor to be what my family could not .These people all filled the empty slots in my family's lives. They all do this with love and grace...and for that I am truly blessed. My children have and had grandmothers that adored them . Countless Uncles and Aunts that have shown them the way.... with a loving and caring heart... They all carry and share their  wisdom that my children crave ....and will take the time to talk and listen to them......really... listen. How Grand!!!
 ...And...
On Christmas Eve ....we shared that night with....our....family!!
    
~Love and Cheers to the New Year~

~ I won't.....~

Life.....and all its details.....I won't be remembered for the music that played in my youth ... I will be remembered for the music filling the air of our home ,making  music important, and grow to appreciate  .  I won't be remembered for the first car I owned..... I will be remembered for teaching someone to drive with a philosophic outlook and a good sense of humor .I won't be remembered for The Wedding gown that I wore.... I will be remembered by How it sat on display my entire married life , just next to my bedside in my room. So to never forget just how fortunate I was to find love . I won't be remembered for my house keeping capabilities... I will be remembered  by the home we made together... was always open to the lost souls, wayward teenagers, family and friends that walked over the threshold with the aroma of fresh baking bread in the ~circa~1900 oven ....filling the air . I won't be remembered for being a good and loving daughter , for that I know  I wasn't... I will be remembered for being the best Mother I could be . The love and care I have given each child and for the son I no longer have. I won't be remembered for  the 1858 piano that stayed in the dining room...I will be remembered for teaching each child to play Chopin with great love. I won't be remembered on the amount of money I spent on developing  film... I will be remembered for the all photographs that I have taken , framed and hung  with great care.... So Greg didn't miss the important and the not so important days of his children's lives. I won't be remembered by all the great books I have read.... I will be remembered for the grand collection I left behind and have hidden  notes ,Stamps ,photographs,  dried flower ,old currency  and my children and grand-children's  art work in just about every book . I won't be remembered by  the political views I held or how I choice to vote..... But....I will be remembered by my laughter ....my loving heart....my kind soul...my eccentric ways.... and oh yes.....the long red hair ^,~

~Reflection of the past~

~My girlfriend and I have went thru many stages in our lives together...Middle school...High school... marriage... family  and the loss of our mothers.  We are still friends to this day. To clothes..music....movies.. ..boys and broken hearts they left behind in our fabulous teen years. And thru it all we are there for each other. I was listening to a song  just the other day playing on the radio . I stopped to listen for the first time....though it has played just about non stop on the radio since its release .... And I thought of the days sitting on my girlfriend's bedroom floor as we mixed tapes for every cause we had...be the "In love" tape ..to the "Creep broke my heart " tape and everything in between.While this song played..I thought too bad this one wasn't around back then. Fairly fitting to some of the guys we met and thought...You're gonna wish you never had met me.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw

~A Ginger Life~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw&feature=player_embedded#at=340

Life of a redhead. . . .
When I was growing up in the 70's and 80's, it was not popular to be a redhead. Memories of my childhood{Which were gruesome to say the least} rang with heckles of "Freckle-Face","Pippi Longstocking" and my most favorite "Medusa" . My brothers were always quick to my defense  ,both tan ,one blond the other sand colored hair . I was the freaky baby sister with the fair skin .The only other family members that had red hair were Dad who stands 6'2 now with grey hair and my 2 aunts {Fay and Sheila}who I thought were so pretty.
I never possessed the California or Maui tan that many of my family and friends had. No matter how hard I tried, the best I could come up with was  the "Savage Tan," which bore an eye catching resemblance to a sunburn.

If I was really lucky  I didn't blister . . . and peel .


As for  today, grateful  to actresses like Julia Roberts and Gillian Anderson ,{Who my big brother Mike said I look like and love him for that } red hair is wicked hot. I've learned to welcome the fact that I was hallowed to be born with a hair color that is outside the realm of the ordinary. We redheads are a rare and exotic breed. Our temperament matches our hair color, fiery, uninhabited and passionate.
Naturally red hair is scarce. In fact, only about two percent of the United States population is born with red hair. So rare are true redheads that, for centuries, redheaded women were hung or burned as witches. Some theorize that the red hair gene is so recessive that redheads are ultimately doomed for extinction. 

I have many daughters and a son that say I'm pretty to have the color of hair I have ,and how I tried for years to change it.

With that I just smile . . and think "WOW . . What an incredible crew I was astonishing bless to have and keep ."

~ A Pirate's Life For Me~

I have a son ..who like his Mum has a love of Pirates . So much so....He had a part in the school play of Treasure Island as Billy Bones.  That's my Boy C=

~.~*¨*•♪♫•*¨The Love of Music~*¨*•♪♫•*¨~

 I have a many loves... to name a few....Disneyland....Antiques and Music. Case in point....I grew up with vinyl records. To this day...I still listen to them...raising all my kids to have a love for the artists from days past .My crew knows who Harry Chapin is and love his sound~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5dwksSbD34

~A Dear Friend~

I saw your picture again today....and I miss you....I miss your laughter ...I miss your smile .I miss your good nature.
I came across a poem ...and I knew..it was just for you .

Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end, Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, And before I know it, a year is gone. And I never see my old friends face, For life is a swift and terrible race, She knows I like her just as well, As in the days when I rang her bell. And she rang mine but we were younger then, And now we are busy, tired women. Tired of playing a foolish game, Tired of trying to make a name. 'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jane Just to show that I'm thinking of her.' But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, And distance between us grows and grows. Around the corner, yet miles away, 'Here's a telegram miss,' 'Jane died today.' And that's what we get and deserve in the end. Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.

Cheers to skies Anita.... I love you so.